THE LIFE OF A DOG

We have had a very good, very lazy day around here. It rained HARD most of the day, was a little chilly and generally a great day to stay inside and catch up.

I think Nick was really happy for the rain, he didn't have to water. He tossed more seed out there last night and I'm hoping it will get a better start than the last stuff. I spent my day working on wedding stuff, we have the whole rehearsal figured out, right down to the menu, homemade chili, (sans beans!) corn bread, salad and pineapple upside down cake! I think we might even get a pinata!



I also got busy baking bread. That little bit of counter is where I do it all, mixing, kneading and shaping. I've gotten it down to a science I tell you!

I'm not sure what happened, they started out right...

but then...well, I'm sure it will taste great, it might not slice so well but

I'm just happy that I can spend my day baking bread for my funny little family! It's so much better than store bought. I also put together some of those Overnight Cinnamon Rolls for Ms. Jane's first morning here. I'm trying something different this time, I'm freezing them until Ms. Jane gets here. If it works I'll be making at least three pans of them for the brunch after the wedding.



Bruno wishes she would walk in the door now. Not only because he wants to eat cinnamon rolls, mostly because he wants to love on her. He loves his NaNa so much, all you have to do is mention her name and he gets all wiggly! Time to go do some laundry.

xo

EVEN PUNK ROCK GIRLS GET THE BLUES

Even well intentioned comments can hurt, and well, this last week has been a tough one. That's my excuse for being away for a week. One of the girls at work keeps commenting on my appearance, I've already been feeling ugly, since we moved my hair and skin have gone completely hay wire, and though I hope she means well, right now I don't want to hear confirmation that what has always worked isn't working any more and I can't afford to fix it right now. So I've spent the week having pep talks with myself, watching Youtube videos about "mature" skin care and makeup and trying to feel better about how I look. Normally I have pretty high self esteem, so feeling insecure about something so trivial seems to make it worse!

It's raining here today after three days over 85 degrees, and the scariest wind storm I've ever been in. I was hoping to get a pair of ruby slippers out of the deal, but no. The plants are finally getting a good, deep drink of water and the dust is settling. I have a ton of dusting to do before Ms. Jane gets here in just a couple weeks. I also went out to the Quonset today and boy...I need to do some work out there cleaning and decorating.

living room

bedroom

kitchen




I have my work cut out for me. I do love having this space for my friends and family, a place where they can stay and not feel like their under our feet and we're not in their way.

back windows

I don't think I'll need to spend much money, well, famous last words. Thanks to Ms. Jane though I wt need to buy fabric for the windows. Just a few dishes, some bar stools a couch...o.k. it's adding up! and I almost forgot, I have to stock it with Mystic Mint Cookies! for Dad!!! We got rid of so much on our last two moves, things we didn't have room for in our studio, things that we didn't think we needed, now we could use them, oh well, no use crying over it now.

Nicks latest raised bed

On the wedding front...we finally found the Basque! and no Dad it did not involve throwing a lamb in the middle of Main Street and yelling here Basquey Basquey! I can say that I'm Greek and pretty sure there is some Merino in my DNA! The Basque Club owns the train depot and we want to make sure there isn't a problem standing outside saying I DO! The flower seeds I planted for bouquets are finally coming up and the grass is really filling in nicely! I can't wait to be Mrs. Nick! To officially be Corbin and Maddy's step mother and Caydens Yia Yia! That reminds me I need to find and fill a toy box for Mr. Cayden to have at Papou's house.

Who knows, maybe my rose will be in full bloom for the wedding! I can't wait to see what color it is!  I just found out that my brother Stefan will be taking photos for the wedding! Score! Free good photographer who I can black mail to make sure I get the photos I want!! Bet you didn't think of that did you Froggy Bottom? How do you know it's right? Everything just seems to fall into place. Even my hair and skin are starting to get normal again!

Well, guess that's about all. I'm going to try and be better about posting, it makes me feel better when I do.
Have a lovely evening!
xo

LESSONS I'VE LEARNED

Some things came up this evening that have me thinking, and feeling incredibly grateful. Love is hard, oh sure it's really easy for the first little while, when you shut out the world and nothing but the two of you are important, but it does become work. I learned the truth of that from my dad at my mom's memorial service, o.k. I know that sounds weird, but they had (and I think still have) an amazing relationship, one that I honestly thought I would never find. Dad said that day that anyone who tells you love is easy, that you won't argue, anyone who tells you that is lying. It's so true!! Nick and I have a great love, and it's because, in part, of the teachers I've had in my life.



Mom and Dad taught me that honesty, openness, communication, respect and a good sense of humor are must haves in a relationship. Did they fight? Heck yes!! Did they always agree? Hell no! Did they always work it out? Thank God yes! They didn't keep secrets, even when sometime I wish they would have, everything was right out there between them.

They say that with age comes wisdom, I don't know about that, but as I've gotten older, more comfortable in my own skin, and more reflective I've been able to put the lessons people have tried to gift me in proper contexts. Maybe it's the whole "life experience" thing, but I have more ah ha moments now. My Grand parents also taught me about love, I only hope I can be as loving towards my grandchildren as they were to me. I have so many memories of all of them, and now I see that in their actions, they were trying to help turn me into a good person. I have tested the strength of my family's love over the years, like you wouldn't believe, I have given them every reason to give up on me, hell, I have practically begged them to and yet...




Nick says there is no such thing as "unconditional" love. I disagree. Most of my life has been a sociology experiment, and after several years of observation, yes "unconditional" love does exist. The experiment is over, Thank you family for your participation, and for not killing me, I know it wasn't easy. 

G'mom taught me that love is patient, I know there were times for her that she wanted to brain my G'pop, I also know she loved him, so she let alot slide, with so much grace. She would occasionally be pushed to her limit, spew venom at Pop, stew for about 20 minutes, muttering under her breath and then it was over. I never once heard her throw the past at him, that's another big relationship lesson, let the past be, don't keep "tally". I actually heard a strangers argument once that went something like this, " Four years ago you said...". She also taught me to be creative, once the dog got a mole, G'mom asked Pop to take care of it, he didn't, big mistake, she went to his favorite bakery and got one of those pink boxes...yep, she put the mole in it, put it on the freezer in the garage, and told Pop she got him a treat. I was very glad I was hanging out at their house that day. I learned that humor in the heat of anger can be great for a relationship, Pop laughed pretty hard and took care of that mole.

I guess what I'm saying is that, being in love is very hard work, but if you can talk instead of yelling, laugh, be open and honest and learn to tell the difference between the "BIG" stuff and the "little" stuff, let go of the need to be right, be compassionate, listen more than you talk and remember what is really important, then you are well on your way to having what I am lucky enough to have with Nick. We both say that we want to make life easier for each other, to help the other carry his load. More than saying "I love you" we say "thank you".

OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

My surprise garden is going nuts with tulips and grape hyacinth! I didn't know you could put sooooo many bulbs in one small bed. I get excited to go out there every morning to see what else might come up, so far just tons of red tulips.



I can't wait to see what this little white one looks like! All this is sort of a bonus to buying our perfect little dream house.

The front of the house looks very naked with out that big, ugly, dead locust tree, but it's so nice not getting scratched up by the thing. Nick's "lawn" is starting to thicken up, I think it's about 60/40 this morning-60% grass that is.

I really hope we can get the inside of the fence painted before the wedding, speaking of the wedding...I'm done stressing! Things are coming along quite nicely, I'm organized, cool, calm, collected and busier than I want to be. I don't think Nick really understands everything that needs to happen in such a short time but...oh well.

Now if I can just figure out how to make this 46 year old face of mine look 26 again! Shoot I'll take 42! Anyway, that doesn't really matter so much as, Nick loves my 46 year old face, and I'm very fond of his! I think I'm most looking forward to seeing all of my family and friends and being able to spend some time relaxing and enjoying them all.

Nick has planted watermelons in one of the raised beds he built, we're hoping that by July we can walk out there and pick a couple for the reception. I can't wait to see the sticky mess my grand baby Cayden will make with one!!! Speaking of Mr. Cayden, he's crawling! He should be into everything when they're here. Yia Yia better get busy Cade proofing everything!  

Farmer Nick is working hard on our empty lot, he doesn't like to let on but I know he can't wait to show it off to the dads and his mom. I'm really proud of all he has done too. Hard to believe we've only been in the house for two months yesterday!

It's a beautiful day and I'm going to go enjoy it!
xo

A QUICK HELLO

Just a quick one tonight. It's a glorious evening and I want to get outside and enjoy it! This was the sunrise this morning, it was actually very red, and beautiful.

The grass is growing in Brunotopia, Bru says he thinks the lawn will be nice and full when his Queen NaNa gets here in May and is looking forward to a good cuddle on the lawn, maybe even a picnic!

Nick hasn't been able to play in his yard for a very long time, I think I should get back out there and enjoy these two guys!

Have a wonderful Sunday evening!
xo

OH HAPPY DAY

Today is a very good day indeed. The "damned locust" tree is coming down as we speak! I couldn't be happier! Bruno is a little upset by the noise, poor guy, yesterday the new vet told him he's still too fat and now all this noise!



Fat and can't get a nap.The vet wants him to lose 10 more pounds, she should have seen him 32 pounds ago! Now if I could just lose 32 pounds!

I've spent a very good two days with the boyz, working on wedding stuff and getting things accomplished. Baby steps! Research! Action! Now there's a plan. We have finalized our guest list and put together an information letter, I even got them all printed and addressed! As soon as the tree guys are done we can head to the post office. Two big items off my plate.

I even found the perfect diy invitations online last night and the perfect wording! People say that knowing exactly what you want makes everything easier, I disagree. When you know exactly what you want, that's it. I don't want to be a Bridezilla but I know what I want...I just don't know where to get it! I'm figuring it out though and things are looking brighter.

I have to admit that I am the one getting in my way. I love blogging, I hate cruising the web. Searching endless web sites looking for things is torture! I'm also not really good about asking for help, again I know what I want, I just can't put it in words sometimes. So...this is really hard for me...does anyone know of a good online resource for quality paper and envelopes? Phew, I did it!

And the tree is down! It's only 101 days until the wedding now, two days ago that would have sent me over the edge, not today. Today I can take it.

I hope happy things are happening in your world today!
xo

OHM-OHM-OHM-OH-OH-OHM-OHM

I'm much better today. I sat myself down and had a serious talk, I listened to the advice of some very wise people indeed, thank you Ms. Jane, Natasha and Auntie Lis. I think it was the Hokey Pokey this morning that finished my transformation from crazy  to cautiously calm. I even listened to my own advice, which may prove to be a mistake, and started writing things down, and made myself a calender so I can break this all down into little chunks of stuff to get done.







Today this goof ball gets to go meet his new vet. I get to work on getting our guest list together all in one place and putting together a mailing for everybody about things to do and places to stay. I think I will include my friend John's family motel down in Vale...yes..really...The Bates Motel! John's Aunt and Uncle own it now and the family name is really Bates. From what I've been told there are fresh homemade cookies everyday.

I guess the reviews of motels here in Ontario aren't so great. I'm not surprised, customer service is a joke out here! Most of the decent places are right off the highway on the east end of town. My best advice is if you can't find anything here, try Baker, or over in Idaho. I don't think there is anyplace in Payette or Fruitland, maybe Caldwell or Nampa?

These two guys can't wait to see Ms. Jane! It's less than a month now! I need to stop procrastinating and get on that guest list...so many scraps of paper...baby steps...breathe...put your left foot in...

xo

WEDDING PLANNING...I NEED A DRINK!

I have to say, wedding planners must really earn their fees! I don't know why I agreed to getting married again, not because Nick isn't the right guy for me, or I don't want to spend the rest of my life with his silly face, I want both of those things! but planning a wedding is not fun!! So many little details. Jordan Almonds in tulle? Seed packets? Champagne punch or plain, hand tied bouquet or cascade, Lord, give me strength! The Internet has so many ideas, choosing whats right for the two of you, on your budget, it's hard work people.

I thought I knew what I wanted until I started looking online for extra inspiration. If you are planning a wedding my first piece of advice is...stay off the computer! It started innocently enough, a cute, fun guest book idea. Something we might actually look at. Guest book quilts, finger print trees, postcard books, Polaroids. Can you say overwhelmed? Then I started looking for make ahead brunch recipes, silk butterflies, toasting flutes...HELP.

I learned the first time I got married that it's only one day, society tells you it has to be the best most perfect day, that your guests should still be talking about it on your 50th anniversary, but really it's just one day...the most important day of your ever lovin' life!

The first time I got married I innocently thought that the only really important detail was the person standing next to you. I still believe that is the most important detail, but, the words you say, the people you surround yourselves with, rank right up there. The memories...those are important too. You will never remember every little detail, there is just to much going on, nor will you both remember the day the same way, but the way you do remember it, that even faded, those are some of the best memories of your life, wow.

O.k. I'm freaking myself out again. If you are planning you first wedding take my advice, unless it's a gift, don't bother with one of those expensive wedding planning books. Get a notebook and a calender. You and your guy are individuals and have your own ideas of the perfect day. Mine? Still trying to figure that out. What I know right this minute is, I need to take my own advice and get a notebook and a calender, and a stiff drink!

It doesn't help that, as I've gotten older, I've become a wimp and cry at the drop of a hat, or sight of a beautiful wedding photo, or thought of my Nick. It's hard to see details through tears, and I know that when I see Nick, on that most special day, I will in fact be a blubbering idiot, mascara to my knees (and we want to write our own vows? and speak to each other?) because I love him so much.

Nick is trying to feign indifference, it's not really working. I know that in his mind the day is going to look and feel a certain way. He's trying give me suggestions without seeming to invested in the planning thang, like having the ceremony at the now closed train station. He gives himself away with phrases like, "I like the symbolism of the train station" or "it's the best background for photos". So the train station it is, I think the symbolism of the start of a journey together is amazing and also very cool is the fact that my Aunt Lis' husband of about 40 years, one of my favorite people, worked for the railroad for I don't even know how long and, Auntie Lis is our minister!

I have spent my entire Easter working on tiny little details, and working up the courage to ask Daddy if he would consider allowing me to use Mom's china, the blue set and the yellow, coffee service and silver punch bowl...like I said I'm a wimp! and I know that if he says no, I'm going to cry, and I don't want him to feel guilty for saying no. I know that I'm asking alot.

Yes, if you ask me, wedding planning is a nightmare, the Internet is in fact an evil creation, and I am a perfectionist and control freak. The wedding is only 3ish months away, and I have yet to make any concrete decisions besides who I will marry on that day and where we will be standing. That's not true, I do have my dress and the wedding party and the our officient. What we'll be eating, drinking or eating off of is still up in the air. Where is that notebook? and why don't I keep booze in my house? Oh well, time to set a goal for myself, I will have most of this nailed down before July 21st, maybe even by the end of the week.

A LITTLE EASTER MORNING PORN

I have come to expect some things to be a certain way. Like Easter for example, it should be a day of peace, relaxation and joy. A day of contemplation, a day for family. A day for...



homemade, all the way from scratch, with love in your heart and a song in your soul, cinnamon rolls! I have really been craving a good cinnamon roll, hot out of the oven, but getting up three hours before breakfast, on a holiday? Not happening!! The answer Overnight cinnamon rolls! I'm so happy I found this one! A little crunchy on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside, just right, and the smell. On an Easter morning, the smell of bread, sugar and cinnamon. What could be better?

A man who does the dishes! Man am I lucky! He doesn't even mind the pink curtains! Since we've moved things have changed, Nick is still stressed, but not like he was in Portland, he's not nearly as angry. I'm not as stressed either. We get to spend more time together doing "normal" couple things, like the dishes or puttering in the yard. We talk more, about the future, the past, mistakes and blessings.

We laugh more. We decided to spend our lives together because we enjoy each others company, in Portland we didn't really have much time to enjoy, we were both so exhausted from just trying to get by. Here, well, I can only speak for myself but I've fallen in love with this big silly goof ball all over again. Nick and I don't really argue, we don't always agree but, life is too short to worry about little stuff like the toilet seat or the cap on the toothpaste or dirty clothes on the bathroom floor or clutter on the table. Maybe it's because we have both been in "bad" relationships or maybe, because we found each other later in life, I'm not sure, I do know that, all my life I have wanted a relationship like my Mom and Dad's and now that I've found it I'm going to hold on to it, and appreciate it.

It's a beautiful day in Ontario and I think I might just go plant some seeds. Maybe I'll just go sit in the yard with Bru and enjoy another cinnamon roll, oh and work on wedding plans.

Happy Easter-
xo

AN EASTER WINNER AND SPRING PLANTING

I tried to load these pics of my new planter boxes to load the other day, the computer had other ideas, guess it thinks I brag too much on Nick. It's probably right, It is a computer after all!



Not bad for pallet wood! I can't wait to get them planted. We have had three nights below freezing here so I've forced myself to hold off, but it's supposed to be really warm the next week so I might just have to get it done. I'm thinking about chamomile and maybe some lobelia to trail over the sides. I don't know, having all this property is a bit overwhelming.



I told you I would announce the winner of my first giveaway today and here it is...NATASHA! Her blog,Rickrack and Ribbons, is full of beautiful quilts, inspiration and the second cutest dog face in the world (sorry, Bruno is looking over my shoulder) You should head over there and check it out! Natasha is also one of the sweetest gals out there. I only know her from her blog and her comments but she seems very genuine.

Well, I promised the boyz fresh cinnamon rolls for Easter breakfast, so I better get to mixin'! I hope you have a wonderful Easter!! Me? I'll be here at Two Willows Farm, maybe we'll go see the fireworks at 6:00a.m.! Or not!

xo

WHAT EVERY GIRL WANTS

I am a very lucky girl indeed. My Nick, my knight in tarnished armour, treats me like a queen. He does little things for me that I would never expect, like the berry plants. Hopefully they will be loaded with berries for the wedding!





I mentioned to him the other day that some planter boxes would be nice on the front porch, what did he do? He went to the garage and made me planter boxes for the front porch! He just does things like that for me. I think I'm going to plant some chamomile in them.




 That brings me to my point, every girl wants to marry a prince. I get to. I don't want to trivialize what we have by calling him my "best friend" he is so much more. He really is my life partner, I spent most of the last two days working on wedding plans, and Nick was right there with me, giving me ideas, and telling me to relax, everything is going to be wonderful.

I was stressing out, to say the least. My biggest stress? Who would preform our wedding. I didn't want some judge or justice of the peace who would just read words off of a page. Nick and I are quirky, and we need a little pluck in our ceremony. I was about to melt down when I checked my email. My Auntie Lis, is ordained! We have our officiant! Someone that I know has personality, who I know will understand if we want a reading from Calvin and Hobbs or Winnie the Pooh. Thank you Aunt Lis! Now I'm a little less stressed about the whole wedding thing.

Every little girl wants to have her wedding be the perfect day. Mine thanks to my Aunt and my Nick is well on it's way to being awesome!!!

Now I have to go to work and make the money to pay for the whole thing!

Have a fantastic day-
xo