WEDDING PLANNING...I NEED A DRINK!

I have to say, wedding planners must really earn their fees! I don't know why I agreed to getting married again, not because Nick isn't the right guy for me, or I don't want to spend the rest of my life with his silly face, I want both of those things! but planning a wedding is not fun!! So many little details. Jordan Almonds in tulle? Seed packets? Champagne punch or plain, hand tied bouquet or cascade, Lord, give me strength! The Internet has so many ideas, choosing whats right for the two of you, on your budget, it's hard work people.

I thought I knew what I wanted until I started looking online for extra inspiration. If you are planning a wedding my first piece of advice is...stay off the computer! It started innocently enough, a cute, fun guest book idea. Something we might actually look at. Guest book quilts, finger print trees, postcard books, Polaroids. Can you say overwhelmed? Then I started looking for make ahead brunch recipes, silk butterflies, toasting flutes...HELP.

I learned the first time I got married that it's only one day, society tells you it has to be the best most perfect day, that your guests should still be talking about it on your 50th anniversary, but really it's just one day...the most important day of your ever lovin' life!

The first time I got married I innocently thought that the only really important detail was the person standing next to you. I still believe that is the most important detail, but, the words you say, the people you surround yourselves with, rank right up there. The memories...those are important too. You will never remember every little detail, there is just to much going on, nor will you both remember the day the same way, but the way you do remember it, that even faded, those are some of the best memories of your life, wow.

O.k. I'm freaking myself out again. If you are planning you first wedding take my advice, unless it's a gift, don't bother with one of those expensive wedding planning books. Get a notebook and a calender. You and your guy are individuals and have your own ideas of the perfect day. Mine? Still trying to figure that out. What I know right this minute is, I need to take my own advice and get a notebook and a calender, and a stiff drink!

It doesn't help that, as I've gotten older, I've become a wimp and cry at the drop of a hat, or sight of a beautiful wedding photo, or thought of my Nick. It's hard to see details through tears, and I know that when I see Nick, on that most special day, I will in fact be a blubbering idiot, mascara to my knees (and we want to write our own vows? and speak to each other?) because I love him so much.

Nick is trying to feign indifference, it's not really working. I know that in his mind the day is going to look and feel a certain way. He's trying give me suggestions without seeming to invested in the planning thang, like having the ceremony at the now closed train station. He gives himself away with phrases like, "I like the symbolism of the train station" or "it's the best background for photos". So the train station it is, I think the symbolism of the start of a journey together is amazing and also very cool is the fact that my Aunt Lis' husband of about 40 years, one of my favorite people, worked for the railroad for I don't even know how long and, Auntie Lis is our minister!

I have spent my entire Easter working on tiny little details, and working up the courage to ask Daddy if he would consider allowing me to use Mom's china, the blue set and the yellow, coffee service and silver punch bowl...like I said I'm a wimp! and I know that if he says no, I'm going to cry, and I don't want him to feel guilty for saying no. I know that I'm asking alot.

Yes, if you ask me, wedding planning is a nightmare, the Internet is in fact an evil creation, and I am a perfectionist and control freak. The wedding is only 3ish months away, and I have yet to make any concrete decisions besides who I will marry on that day and where we will be standing. That's not true, I do have my dress and the wedding party and the our officient. What we'll be eating, drinking or eating off of is still up in the air. Where is that notebook? and why don't I keep booze in my house? Oh well, time to set a goal for myself, I will have most of this nailed down before July 21st, maybe even by the end of the week.